Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Ambulances

Wednesday, 12 December 2007

image for Ambulances are a Trifle Unclean, says Report
Carnage? Call a cab!

Road accident victims who would normally require emergency treatment in hospital, and a ride in an ambulance to get it, are being advised to travel there in a taxi, after it was revealed in a report that ambulances are not as clean as they should be.

The report, which I heard on a bus, says that many are "hardly ever washed", with others described as "filthy, dirty things that flash by making a right din".

One such vehicle in Edinburgh found to be 'substandard' in the cleanliness stakes, had a foetus on the windscreen, whilst investigators said that another in Leeds had a woman's panties on the dashboard.

Other problems included mud on the mudflaps, and thick black oil in the ambulance's oil filter. The blue light in another vehicle was said to be "grotty" and covered in dust.

The Government report claimed that, "at a time when many so-called Hospital Superbugs are so widespread, ambulances are becoming a virtual breeding ground for MRSA, c-Difficile and, indeed, AIDS.

The latter applied to the case of the two ambulancemen found "in a compromising position" in the back of their of their vehicle "up a country lane" last week.

NHS chiefs are looking into allegations that the two were not practising 'safe sex'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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