Today, Spoofmeister Mark Lowton announced that TheSpoof.com will suffer a loss of service for two weeks and claims that it is because of his honeymoon.
Like British Rail with the 'wrong kind of snow', 'leaves on the line', etc. etc. we all know that this cannot be true!
Conspiracy theories abound on the internet, but this is the FIRST time a story has appeared on TheSpoof.com that is definitely NOT true!
In Seine news can exclusively reveal that the 'Lancashire Lad' has been finally caught breaking one of his 23 ASBOs by throwing fish & chips at a group of old ladies from a tram in Blackpool. He will have to spend two weeks at HMP Long Lartin. His 'Missus' is in reality one of the female(?) Warders and fellow spoof writers, Candice Hitler who will administer some painful punishments from her impressive but rusting collection of ex-Soviet tools.
Ms Hitler who was oiling her whips with saddle soap in a darkened room told us: ¨I'm really looking forward to meeting Mr Lowton and it will be nice to let him touch and feel my "babies" - they have not been used since I bought them off Osama Bin Laden from a car boot sale in Bradford. The tools do come with instructions which are unfortunately written in Arabic but as I'm open-minded and creative, I think it will be great fun to invent ways to inflict pain to the MAX."
In Seine news was quite taken aback at Ms Hitler's promises and wishes Mr (& Mrs) Lowton all the very best!.
Our advice is: "It's just like passing your driving test - after that you REALLY learn to drive and the same goes for marriage, after the honeymoon, you REALLY learn to be married."
Someone said 2 weeks is a long time in politics, but a marriage IS FOR LIFE. Good luck Mr (& Mrs) Lowton.