The Labour Party announced this evening that it is to adopt Steve McClaren as its official mascot.
Rennie Capsule, Labour's Director of Media & Publicity announced, 'We are delighted to have Steve on board. We all agreed that Steve McClaren is the living epitome of what New Labour is all about. He will fit the role perfectly. Steve McClaren and the Prime Minister share a great deal of mutual admiration and they are looking forward to working together.'
It is believed that McClaren will receive a seven figure salary for a minimum of five years, irrespective of whether New Labour win the next election.
'The amount of salary, is, of course, a private matter between Steve and New Labour,' continued Capsule,' but its terms and conditions are broadly in line with those sought by managers in the football league and indeed, directors of British companies.'
Steve McClaren was unavailable for comment this evening. After leaving the FA Headquarters this morning, he made a brief visit to Jack Barclay in Mayfair to pick up his new Bentley Continental, before joining his wife at Heathrow for the start of their two week cruise.