Hellfire Club HQ, London - (Diabolical Mess): Today's news that the Northern Crock bank disaster is actually hiding a £100 billion black hole has come as no shock to the Met's Serious & Disorganised Fraud Squad forecasting department.
"The Puppet Monarch's gambling shenanigans of the last decade are irrevocably tied up in the bank's finances," a Met source warned today as a ring of steel was placed preventing the encashment of any more dodgy Buck House promissory notes.
The cops are assessing a new 30 month cycle that began in September this year, co-incinding with what astrologers call the transit of the zodiac's taskmaster planet Saturn of the harvest-time constellation Virgo.
"Saturn brings retributive justice during its critical cycle of the Virgo sign," astro sources said today.
"Its current transit can be likened to the lancing of a massive, festering, pus-infested boil sitting on the nation's backside - claiming monarchial rule over all the realm's domains.
"We expect some of the most hideous cold-war secrets to come oozing out now as the Northern Crock catastrophe comes crashing down to expose the Labour Party as hired mobsters.
"As for the calamity of the 25 million public banking records that the taxman lost last month, this story is only the tip of the iceberg.
"What it hides is so hideous, so wicked that the Nazis seem relatively compassionate by comparison."
Gorgon Brown is under sedition.