Written by Chuck Terzella
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Topics: London, Oklahoma

Wednesday, 31 March 2004

Eight men have been arrested in London with 1000 pounds of Ammonium Nitrate, a fertilizer that can be used to manufacture a bomb such as the one used in Oklahoma City in the United States. The plot was foiled by a garden supply company employee who grew suspicious. Ainsley (Snapdragon) Boxley- Buxton, an employee at the shop said, "It seemed a bit odd when eight gentlemen wearing keffiyahs and electric blue hand painted rubber Wellie's came in to order two Royal Sussex Trugs, a garden gnome, two rose bushes and a thousand pounds of fertilizer, but you know, I'm all for helping Western Oriental Gentlemen assimilate into British life and of course gardening is one of the cornerstones of our culture. I did warn them to use the fertilizer sparingly, you don't want to burn your roses after all."

Mr. Boxley-Buxton then alerted his fellow shop keeper Mildred Higgens who, horrified that anyone would think of using ammonium nitrate on roses, called in the proper authorities. "Bone Meal. That's what you want.," said Ms. Higgens.

British Anti-Terrorist units also arrested Willoughby Marjoribanks, another local gardener who was in the shop at the time of the investigation on charges that his he planted his pansies to form the words ‘Bugger Blair' in his front garden.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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