Following complaints by many writers (myself included - I suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder), those clever Lowton Brothers have devised a new system of ratings in which we can give the writer the relevant stars if they thought that the story was good and 'TURDS' if they think that the story is rubbish and therefore stinks!
It has been noticed that some unscrupulous people have been using the discussion section and drumming up extra views by claiming they have a very low number of views when their story is only just been published within hours! Such a practice should be outlawed and any authors caught doing so should be given a phallic symbol to signify that they are suffering from a form of 'penile dementia'.
In Seine news managed to catch up with Mark Lowton who told us: "We have had to introduce such measures because …. It our site and we can do what the hell we like! We ARE the LAW, so just put up or shut up!" as he waved his truncheon menacingly at us.
As he twizzled his moustache, he added that "any lawbreakers will not be given ASSBOs, but will be prematurely ejaculated."