Written by Gordon Bennet
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Thursday, 15 November 2007

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George Bush Declares War On Suffolk

Today Thursday 15th November 2007 President George Bush announced from the Pentagon Security Office that the United States of America where at war with Suffolk.

Mr Bush went on to say "Stephen Hadley the US National Security Advisor had informed him that Suffolk was an Al Qaeda stronghold and that they had developed a highly pathogenic Asian strain of the H5N1 Virus".

"Apparently US Secret Service Agents had found the Al Qaeda headquarters hidden in a remote village disguised as a Bernard Mathews Factory".

On CNN News, US Secretary for Defence Robert M Gates reported that "the virus was extremely contagious and that Al Qaeda Sleeping Agents where about to release the deadly avian flu at US Military Establishments around the Globe".

Also on the TV News, US Chief of Staff George W Casey Junior said "Mr Bush had been on the telephone to his old friend and advisor Donald Rumsfeld to find out which part of the Middle East, Suffolk was to be found".

He reported "that Mr Rumsfeld had advised Mr Bush that he was fairly certain that Suffolk was just to the right of Spain and just to the left of India but he would have a quick look at Google Earth just to be certain".

US Vice-President Dick Cheney making a National Televised announcement from the White House said "that the Aircraft Carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt was already on its way to the Gulf with a full compliment of F35 Strike Fighter Aircraft and that B52 Long Range Aircraft where on RED Alert at the US Base Diego Garcia in the Indian Ocean".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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