Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Amy Winehouse

Wednesday, 14 November 2007

image for Winehouse parents try to section troubled daughter
Paramedics failed to find the troubled singer yesterday

Camden Town, London - (Psychotic Mess): For nearly two hours yesterday Amy Winehouse hid in a wheelie-bin behind her Jeffrey Archer Place house in Camden as frantic paramedics trawled through her home in a bid to find and section her on her parents' express orders.

Winehouse has been demented with fury after her husband Blake Fidel-Civil was charged last week and remanded at HMP Belmarsh on trial-fixing charges.

Her parents said yesterday her usually bizarre behavior became a lot weirder when she threatened going cold turkey while chained to railings outside her husband's jail.

"Amy drug-free and sober is like you and me on mescalin," Mitch Winehouse said today.

"Last time she tried detoxing in a controlled environment several rehab clinicians ended up needing blood transfusions after falling into a psychosomatic delusional state.

"The only thing that works on Amy is London Zoo's Rhino House stun gun followed by a course of opiate and cannabinoid-related herbicide colonic irrigation therapy, same as Princess Diana had."

Blake Fidel-Civil is said to be crawling up the wall at Belmarsh.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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