One of the Diminutive Short Arsed Chirpy Geordie's Ant or Dec is set to win I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here as they are the only Celeb's left deep in Australian Jungle after all the other Celeb's hot footed it to the nearest Pub.
First to go was ex Sex Pistols Manager Malcolm McLaren who stormed out of the series claiming it was all a fix.
He said "This is a joke, the Jungle is actually a Set in a Sydney TV Studio".
McLaren went on to say "The Producers promised me that Hollyoak's Babe Gemma Atkinson would be getting her kit off most days just like Mylene Klass did in the last series".
Apparently the gorgeous Miss Atkinson had said "No way am I stripping in front of the leering John Burton Race, and who wants to end up working for Marks and Spencer's anyway".
On hearing that Anna Ryder Richardson had offered to bare all the rest of the Guy's disappeared to an Irish Bar next to the famous Sydney Bridge.
Cery's Mathews then led the rest of the girls off the Set after Lynne Franks ordered Mathews to cook the dinner and prepare her boudoir while she cavorted in a Sauna.
Mathews was heard to say "Stuff you Franks we are off to join the boyos down the boozer".
ITV pleaded with viewers to still keep voting for all the contestants because it did not make the slightest difference who they voted for but it could make a huge difference to their profits.
They also urged viewers to still vote after the winner was announced so that it would appear that there was nothing irregular going on.