Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 11 November 2007

image for Chelsy dumps Harry because he looks like a ginger Bill Clinton
A bit of botox, some orange crayon and he's a dead ringer for young Harry

London - (Unrequited Mess): A livid Chelsy Davy has dumped the Pretender's younger brat Prince Harry because she'd fed up of people telling her that he looks like a ginger version of Bill Clinton.

She's also told pals that Harry's drinking is so out of control that the couple haven't had a decent shag in two years "because of that alcohol-syndrome erectile dysfunction thinggie."

Meanwhile the blonde bombshell's dad has just been outed as a recipient of a multi-million dollar bung from the Northern Crock Bank which has been doshing up pals of Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe, where young Chelsy lives with her family.

Last weekend the Foreign orifice told Chelsy they were considering imposing sanctions on her and her father "unless she signed a gagging order about harry not being able to get it up any more."

That threat may have been the last straw, however, becasue yesterday Clarence House admitted that Harry has been dumped "and is now dating a handsome, six foot eights squaddie called Marvin" from the Booze & Royals regiment.

There has been no comment from ex-US President Bill Clinton about the lookalike business allegations.

But Harry is known to have failed all DNA tests that should have confirmed him as Charles' and Diana's own true brat.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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