Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Conservatives

Sunday, 11 November 2007

image for Tory tosser Aitken back in the fold
Cops are cock-a-hoop at this latest development in their sting op

London - (Ass mess): Lying, perjuring scumbag and former Tory Minister for Arms (sic) Procurement Jonathan Aitken is back in the Hellfire Club fold after blagging his way up David Cameron's arse.

Aitken was chief crack dealer to Sordid Arabia's ambassador to the US Prince Bandar for many years before telling one whopper too many and ending up sharing a cell in HMP Belmarsh with Abu Hamza.

Despite having so much previous that his criminal record made the Kray twins look like contenders for the Archibishoprick of Canterbury, Aitken has nevertheless managed to worm his way back to pubic orifice with the promise of a cushy sinecure advising Oswald Mosely's great-nephew David Cameron on Tory strategy on prison reform.

At the Met's Serious & Disorganised Crime Squad's HQ today the news was met with utmost rapture:

"They fell for it," a top brass source said.

"Now we can get the whole lot of them without the tedium of re-interviewing Blair and Levy about those bungs-for-peerages business."

Boris Johnson is certifiable.

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