Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 10 November 2007

image for Pete Doherty planning to spring Amy Winehouse's husband out of Belmarsh
Amy Winehouse's husband is in deep shit

Thames Magistrates Court - (Conspiritorial Mess): Babyshambles singer Peter Doherty was seen comforting Camden junkie Amy Winehouse today in what may be a cunning ruse to spring her husband Blake Fidel-Civil out of HMP Belmarsh where he is being held on trial-fixing charges.

Fidel-Civil was busted on Thursday along with four others after attempting to suborn a GBH witness with a £200,000 bung from his wife's Northern Croc bank account.

Doherty had managed to drag his heroin-detoxed arse out of Clouds rehab facility this morning and was spotted looking almost wholesome at Thames Magistrates Court public gallery beside the ashen-faced Winehouse.

A spokesman at the Wiltshire detox clinic are adamant Doherty blagged an exeat from the rehab purely to score from his old mucker Winehouse.

"He doesn't actually give a ratsarse if Fidel-Civil gets banged up. Just so long as he ain't implicated in the trial-fixing himself," an informed source said today.

CCTV footage at the court today shows him ruffling the chanteuse's copious beehive in what may well prove to be an entirely innocent affectionate gesture.

But the last time anybody tried this follicle massage was last month in Norway when local cops pounced in a surprise narcotics swoop.

And reports claim they retrieved a number of illicit items from Winehouse's trademark bouffant hairpiece.

These include half a weight of Afghani black, twenty wraps of smack, 100 Es, a weekend's supply of crystal meth, two dozen packets of Rizla, her entire Norwegian tour cocaine allowance, a Moroccan bong and a crate of Jack Daniels.

After this morning's hearing Winehouse and Doherty left together for an undisclosed destination while Fidel-Civil was sped away in the direction of HMP Broadmoor.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 1?

4 5 22 13

Go to top