Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Heather Mills

Friday, 9 November 2007

image for Bigamy claims as Heather Mills dumped by divorce lawyers
Mills in St James's Park today

Red Lion Square, London - (Ass Mess): A leading London firm of divorce lawyers has dumped Heather Mills after a meeting with the Met's Fraud Squad brought claims of bigamy and blackmail about the bigmouth peroxide vegan scrot-grinder.

Mish-Con Betrayer is now suing Mills for the £1.5 million fees she has run up in her bid to squeeze £50 million from ex-Beatle Paul McCartney.

Mills picked the celebrity law firm after becoming impressed at their skills in extracting £££s millions for Princess Diana despite knowing both she and her husband were Hellfire Club impostors.

Earlier this year she threatened to publish Princess Di's own divorce secrets unless the firm took her on pro bono.

But the tables were turned in October when McCartney's new girlfriend Nancy Dishevelled informed Mills that her dad is a New York mobster with an impressive track record.

"That put the kybosh up the little slag," a private detective agency source said today.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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