Written by Mister Meaner
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Wednesday, 7 November 2007

image for NHS Outcry As Woman Giving Birth Is Forced To Terminate Mobile Phone Call
Doctors and nurses

Nursing staff at a leading London maternity hospital have been criticised for refusing to allow a young woman in the throes of giving birth, to continue a mobile phone call.

The woman, Shaz Shizzle, 16, was asked to terminate the call, thought to be to one of her 'boyfriends', but refused, telling her carers that the call was "a matter of life and death".

As nurses tugged this way and that, on the phone and on a baby, Shizzle argued down the phone, a knock-off Blackberry, barking orders at her 'other half', telling him not to forget her fags. Eventually, the mum-to-be passed out through breathlessness.

Last week's incident, one of several which have taken place at the London Chav Hospital recently, is the latest in a series of mobile phone-related cases that staff have had to deal with whilst going about their life-saving duties.

Only three weeks ago, at a neighbouring gynaecology unit, another woman insisted on conducting a phone call "whilst having her womb scraped", according to doctors.

Chav welfare groups have criticised the NHS for their actions, claiming that "it is a basic Human Right to do whateva the f*ck we like."

Senior staff at the Chav hospital have defended the decision to order the call terminated, saying that the phone was interfering with medical equipment that, if damaged, would not be replaced by Labour Health Secretary Alan Johnson, due to insufficient funding for the NHS.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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