BBC TV Center, London - (Ass Mess): The Xmas TV ratings war has kicked off early with the BBC unveiling a strippers' version of its flagship moron programme Strictly Come Dancing.
The Yuletide special will feature dozens of desperate wannabe famous scrubbers cavorting partially dressed in fetishistic and/or quasi-dominatrix strip.
This will gradually come off while contestants dance the Last Tango in Paris in a festive blockbuster show sponsored by Organic Flora margarine.
The dance floor will be hygienically cleansed in between bouts.
Viewers will be able to phone-vote for the best acts and their selections will be duly ignored according to ground rules laid down by Blue Peter and GMTV phone-vote rigging traditions.
The lucky winners will get to perform their winning routines at the Royal Variety Performance early in 2008.
The show will be screened over Xmas Eve, Xmas Day and Boxing Day and is predicted to be a walk-over in the annual TV ratings war.