Breaking news: Following the fining of Home Office Minister Liam Byrne for using his mobile phone while driving, the Government has announced that it will introduce new legislation excusing Ministers from road safety laws.
Mr. Byrne's defences that "I am a Government Minister and a lot more important than the lot of you put together" and "I was on an important call about deporting a scumbag" found little sympathy with the magistrates, who fined him £100. However, his bosses at the Home Office revealed that it is not acceptable for Ministers to be found guilty of road safety laws that were "intended for the plebs".
Home Secretary Jacqui Smith said:
"That is why the Government will be introducing new legislation allowing Ministers to use mobile phones while driving, go through red lights, exceed the speed limit and drink champagne while driving."
The Opposition has been quick to condemn the new laws, demanding that they should apply to the Tory party, too.