Written by Paul Deacon
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Topics: Tony Blair, Britain

Sunday, 5 August 2001

image for Britain moving in the right direction

In a speech to the Commons today Prime Minister Tony Blair said the country is now "moving in the right direction".

"Britain is now far further south than at any time under the Tories" he said. "By Christmas we should be much nearer the equator. This will save the Treasury millions in winter fuel payments to the elderly".

Britain has been slow to get off the mark. France has been moving north towards the polar ice-caps for the past ten years and as a result has not suffered global warming.

"I must pay tribute to my cabinet colleagues but particularly John Prescott" Mr Blair continued. "The fact that Britain is on the move now is largely down to him sticking his oar in".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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