Written by Adam Barefaced-Lie
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Topics: Tax, Environment

Tuesday, 30 October 2007

image for Department of the Environment spark Council Tax reforms
What he world will still look like in 10 years time of we all flytip

The Department of the Environment have announced new measures that signify the start of radical changes to Council Tax in England.

It was announced today that Local Authorities are being givem the go-ahead to charge people according to the amount of rubbish the dispose of. The much talked about scheme will see chips put into bins in order to calculate the volume of rubbish collected. Plans outlined earlier this year would be for households to get an annual discount of up to £50 or extra charges of up to £50 depending on rubbish not recycled.

A leaked memo today has indicated that other government departments have also jumped on the cart and are shortly to announce their own proposals.

The home office are thought to be preparing a pilot that would see people claiming to be victims of crime have their council tax increased, while those who avoid adding to the pressure of modern policing will see a reduction.

The rise in home dentistry, wrongly reported to be due to the lack of NHS dentists, is as a direct result of tax discounts offered to residents in Hull by the Department of Health.

Ed Balls, Secratary of State for Education added "I don't care how schools GCSE grades increase, as long as they bloody well do. We are putting the final details to a scheme that will see a significant reduction in council tax for those parents that do their childrens homework for them".

From our extensive analysis, those set to benefit most from the council tax reforms will be homeless self medicating individuals who have lost faith in the police, and parents of school aged children who are prepared to pay a Polish immigrant to dump their waste down a quite country lane.

A conservative spokesman said that Labour had stolen their ideas but thought that their methods of implementation are rubbish...just rubbish!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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