Buckingham Palace - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah and the UK's Puppet Monarch have been named as the biological parents of pesky opium dealer and World Trade Center bomber Osama Bin Laden according to senior Whitehole sources today.
The news has put this week's Saudi state visit into disarray as civil servants frantically grapple with dumbing down the story which has been common knowledge to virtually all world leaders ever since Margaret Thatcher became British prime Monster in 1979.
At NATO HQ in Brussels news of the leak was met with stoical indifference as military top brass blamed descendants of the Puppet Monarch's uncle, Russian genocidal butcher Joseph Stalin, for the likely political fallout.
Meanwhile at the Met's Serious & Disorganised Crime Squad orifices plans are being drawn up to publish the entire genealogical connections between old Fatty and every mobster cartel felon spawned by her blood relations.
"She is the queen bee in this fetid hive," a top brass source said today.
"We think the state visit this week is just another Whore on terra planning session."