Written by carina-eta
Print this

Tuesday, 30 October 2007

image for Home Office Not Sure How Many Immigrant Workers In U.K- Ballpark Figure Only
I come work for Meeser Brown-my name Tarquinia-good Eenglish name.

The Government was forced to apologise today for getting its figures on immigration wrong.

Work and Pensions Secretary Peter Hain admitted that "roughly" 300,000 more foreign nationals are working in the UK than previously announced.

The figure had been put at 800,000 in the past 10 years - but Mr Hain has said the "ball-park" figure is more like 1.1 million.

However, the Department Of Work & Pensions has offered a detailed apology as to why it got the figures so wrong. Mr Hain has said that it all started when he tried to get the figures from each branch of the department. After being on hold for hours his patience was at "breaking point", he then spoke to "foreign-sounding "workers who gave him some of the figures, but they hung up on him before he could write them down properly.

In another key area workers supervisors were unable to fill in forms regarding immigration workers as they were unable to get the correct details from the workers due to being unable to speak their languages. The workers were unable to fill in the forms themselves.

In industry it is believed that many companies are employing double the workforce at half the cost and declaring only 50% of it on a regular basis.

"The fact is" said Mr Hain, "that we can't get the information accurately because we have employed mainly non-English speaking immigrant workers to give us the information."

Make carina-eta's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 plus 2?

1 7 25 8
80 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more