The government today unveiled a new law which makes it illegal for people to scratch their own bottoms.
The Minister for Nannying, Ms. Poobar Higgins cited several cases that she knew of personally, where people had contracted the disgusting disease commonly known as 'Threadworms' or 'Mad Anal Itch' by accidentally swallowing eggs that 'Infected Persons' had scratched out of their own bottoms and kindly spread around for others to pick up and ingest.
Ms Higgins stated in a press release:
"We've tried encouraging people to keep their fingers away from their arses via public information films, yet sales of bottom maggot removal tablets have hit the roof. This is a last ditch attempt to clean up this nation's collective colon."
From a week Tuesday, punishment for bottom scratching will range from a small fine to thirteen months hard labour, depending on the severity (or depth) of the crime.