Written by Paul Deacon
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Sunday, 5 August 2001

image for Raging Queen
I'm more than oblivious

Her Majesty the Queen launched a damning indictment of the British people today.

"What do they actually do?" she is said to have asked a lady-in-waiting. "Whenever I go out to work for some hard hand-waving in the Rolls, they are always standing around behind railings doing nothing. They should get themselves proper jobs. All my taxes go to keep the likes of them. It's a disgrace".

She is said to have continued her angry diatribe later in the day, stating that she thought the British people "had it easy". "There's always carpet on the roads, pavements and runways" she said. "Mind you it can't be easy living with that smell of fresh paint every day".

Her Majesty is known to have strong views about abolition of commoners, although she is said to acknowledge their value for tourism. "I just wish more of them would go abroad" she said.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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