London - (Reuterus & Ass mess): George W Bush has been hiding something disgusting in London for the last 20 years according to Whitehall security/intelligence chiefs.
"We first came across this little shit back in the late 1980s," an MI5 source said today, "when we investigated some of his unofficial blood ties who were targeting the Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency data computers.
"And then it slowly dawned on us.
"Bush was using a covert Opus Dei network of local government tossers to foment civil war and blaming the IRA.
"But he'd left his genetic fingerprints all over the place, mostly in gerrymandering City hell holes.
"And one of those fetid little turds has now popped up on Interpol files as head of a home-grown sleeper-cell.
"Pity nobody told him that a NATO military intelligence black op electronically tagged him at birth with a subcutaneous implant, just like his Pa!"
Meanwhile at NATO HQ in Brussels military intelligence chiefs have breathed a sigh of relief following Interpol confirmation that all the necessary forensic evidence linking Bush to all European mainland bombings since his December 2000 walkover into the White House has now been gathered.
The majority of these were attributed to an Asian flag of convenience under the Al Qaeda banner.
"But then the City of London's Dog Pound Division played a blinder when they found Fidel Castro's bitch in Harrod's Oyster Bar," the MI5 source added.
"Since then it's been a doddle unmasking Margartet Thatcher's flagship Council as the real villains behind the scam.
"You can make that flagshit if you like."