Balmoral Estate, Scotland - (Ass Mess): Desperate royal wannabe Kate Middleton was snapped shooting up on the Balmoral estate this weekend.
Palace officials responded quickly by faking some pics of the pointless flat-chested stick insect wearing combats and a khaki T shirt.
A simple Bushmaster Varminter hunting rifle was superimposed on the photos to up the cred.
Then in an ultimate coup de theatre a couple of long-dead stuffed Victorian stags were prised off their castle mountings and positioned near the silly young skaghead.
Et voila. - Formidable.
99% of Sunday Tosser readers polled said they believed Middleton is being groomed by the Puppet Monarchy for a huntin' 'n' shootin' countryside lifestyle, as every future royal spouse should be.