Surly Clunking fister and Part time Jack Dee impersonator Gordon 'Not Flash' Brown is mostly hospitalised today after receiving a good old fashioned Eton tongue lashing (metaphorically this time) from tubby toff Tory marksman David Cameron.
Cameron (8) verbally assaulted the Prime Ministerial 'bear with a sore head' after his recent radical decision not to stage an unwanted faux election. He accused Gordon Brown (texture like sun) of being a vacuum cleaner and treating the electorate 'like fools'
Mr Brown issued a tear-stained statement claiming that Mr Cameron had unfairly started the battle of wits whilst Brown was unarmed.
Mr Brown's rebuttal of the accusation was deftly mangled and everyone from front bench, back bench and black and decker workbench chanted 'fight, fight, fight' and goaded the Little Lord Faultleroy lookalike Cameron to continue to linguistically 'maul' the PM.
The media even drafted in folically excessive boxing promoter Don King to give them a blow by blow account of the political pounding. Opinion polls show a 103% fall in the number of people who think Gordon Brown has overstayed his unwelcome.
It has been a 'fortnightus horribilis' for the Brown Camp who have witnessed their charmless leader bungle the Labour Party Conference by selling tickets to mostly Tory candidates and recent allegations that the PM 'wined, dined and 69ed' former social war-mongerer Margaret Thatcher ahead of her TV debut on Channel 4's ratings-giver 'Under Thatched Roof'.
Questions are being asked of Brown's political ideology.
When we pushed Brown's inner circle (not like that) they told us that chief Labour policy maker David Cameron was waiting to get back to them, but was being held up by 'arse and crumpet' games and Peasant hunting.