London - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): Police are probing reports that ex-BBC One chief Peter Fincham knew one of his news-reading staff had used artificial insemination to spawn a daughter by the Pretender to the Throne some 25 years ago.
Fincham received the unceremonious Order of the Boot from the Beeb last week after a series of fiascos and cover-ups involving footage of the Puppet Monarch Old Fatty Mountbatten.
Former colleagues at the Corporation say that the news hackette had been promoted way over her natural abilities to smirk superciliously at 10pm audiences and mimic dumbass veteran former newsreaders such as Angela Ripoff and Anna Ford.
"Mostly her patronage came from ex-Beeb governor Marmaduke Hussey whose wife enjoyed a lifetime's patronage by sucking off on the public's etoilation of the Queen Mum as he old gin-sodden madcap gambler's lady-in-waiting," a source revealed.
"A whole mythology then sprang up at the Beeb, centered on promoting a half-wit lookalike daughter of President George Bush Senior to take on the role of a fledgeling Princess Diana," the source at the troubled broadcaster added today.
"And all the while Little Ms Butter-wouldn't-melt-in-her-arse-newsreader was grooming the artificially inseminated fruit of her loins as a future walk-on in the House of Mountbatten pantheon of wannabes.
"It really sucks."