Written by Candice Hitler
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Tuesday, 9 October 2007

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Wobbly Octogenarian dictator Margaret Thatcher is to host her own daytime chat show insiders told us today. Channel 4 have commissioned a six episode run in which Thatcher, attached to an elaborate puppet system, will chat with guests such as Radiohead front man Thom Yorke and grubby bearded millionaire Richard Branson.

When questioned about her obvious senility Channel 4 informed us that she would not actually talk herself but would be overdubbed by an enthusiastic yet out of work Ben Affleck. Affleck told the press that he has 'always had a hard spot for the old Iron Lady'.

Critics have seen the show, currently called 'Under Thatched Roof' as an exploitation of the Tory coffin dodger, however others see this as an opportunity for the Conservatives to tap in to the housewife/student electorate market.

When asked whether she was up to the job Mrs Thatcher told us 'I used to be made of Iron and my grandson Alf invented air'.

Channel 4 expect the viewing figures to go through the 'thatched roof' knocking rivals like Parkinson so far back they'll be on Channel 5.

Michael Parkinson is reported to be up to the challenge, stating that the 'rusty old lady will balls this up just like she did with the 80s.' Thatcher's team of aides responded by stating that the 80s were already ruined by Spandau Ballet, ill-fitting clothes and cocaine.

The show unfortunately airs on Channel 4 soon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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