Written by Mister Meaner
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Topics: Princess Diana

Saturday, 6 October 2007

image for Diana Was Pregnant - Inquest
How many were there, in there?

The inquest trying desperately to decide whether or not Princess Diana was pregnant when she died, has heard that she had told close friends that, indeed she was, and that the drunken French chauffeur Henri Paul was the father.

The Princess of Wales died along with her boyfriend Dodi al Fayed in a freak car crash accident in Paris in 1997, and, ever since, the public has clamoured for information about her rumoured pregnancy. Earlier this year, lawlords decided that yet another inquiry should be held to settle the matter once-and-for-all.

The inquest, at the London Royal Courts of Justice, has been well attended by Diana's fans waving flags and holding pictures of her aloft. They were shocked though, when it was revealed by a 'secret witness' that the Princess had confided in her that she was pregnant by the inebriated driver.

Gasps of astonishment then followed another stunning claim from a Royal doctor that, not only was Diana pregnant with Paul's offspring, but was also carrying an embryo fertilised by ex-rugby player Will Carling, and, in early 1997, had had an abortion to get rid of a baby conceived during an unlikely alliance with Bruce Forsyth, the former Generation Game host.

As the gallery fainted en masse, Lord Justice Baker called a halt to proceedings, and declared the hearing null and void.

The Princess, who, according to some wild claims, already had one child, Harry, out of wedlock to the Life Guard James Hewitt, is known to have 'liked the company of men', and regularly attended the LA Fitness Gym where plenty of them congregated.

The matter will now be referred to another higher authority, The Sun, where it will be discussed enthusiastically and pointlessly until the end of time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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