Written by Kent Pete
Print this
Topics: Princess Diana

Wednesday, 3 October 2007

image for 'No evidence' of Diana pregnancy
Up the duff? She certainly don't look it! But she slept with enough suitors.

'Intimate' details of Princess Diana's life will be heard at the inquest into her death, but evidence of pregnancy may never be known, a judge has said.

Lord Justice Scott Baker said scientific evidence might not be able to demonstrate either way that she was pregnant when she died in a car crash.

Talking from his home in Miller's Grout, Gloucestershire, the openly misogynist J.P. told our Home Affairs correspondent,

"What evidence have we that the 'Queen of Hearts' was up the duff. A few spurious comments from some female friends and a sworn statement from a Parisian gynaecologist. If history has taught us anything it's not to trust women or the French. Jemima Khan for fuck's sake, I ask you.

"What good would it do anyway raking up the past. I believe it's better to let sleeping dogs lie. If she was pregnant to a Muslim, can you imagine the constitutional consequences of that? Would it really be acceptable to have an Abdul or a Khalid as a half brother of the King of England. Of course not. What next? A homosexual in her majesty's government?

"No, I say we should do what the British have done for generations when potentially damaging evidence comes to light. Pay off those that need paying, kill those who won't play ball and change the subject if it should ever come up in polite company. It worked before with the Irish didn't it?"

Make Kent Pete's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 2?

7 5 6 1
49 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more