Written by Noshing Mink
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Wednesday, 3 October 2007

image for Cameron: "Please don't call snap election."
"Ple-e-e-e-e-eze!"

David Cameron ended the Conservative Party conference with the rallying cry, "Oi, Gordon Brown! Please don't call a snap election."

Cameron's 20 minute speech praised Labour party policies, thanked the Government for invading Iraq, and promised to raise even more green taxes. At the end of the speech, he begged the Prime Minister not to call a quick election, saying:

"Despite what I said earlier, the Tory party isn't ready for an election. My job as Leader of the Opposition's at stake. Look, I'll do anything. You can have my Jaguar. I've also got a rather nice dual core laptop. It's yours, mate. I'll even give you my wife's recipe for Pecan Pie. Just don't call an election. I'm begging you, dude."

Political analysts are split on whether Cameron's blubbering will win him or lose him votes. Adam Boulton of Sky News said:

"On the one hand, voters like honesty and you can't be more honest than this. The man had tears streaming down his cheeks. On the other hand, voters like their leaders to appear strong. Cameron may be David to Brown's fist-clunking Goliath, but this David's no hero."

David Cameron was said to have locked himself in his lavatory and refused to come out till Gordon Brown promises not to call a snap election.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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