Gordon Brown ended speculation about the date of a 'snap' General Election when he announced that he would be holding a 'pre-election' election, just to see where the land lay.
Sources say that the result of the pre-election election will help Prime Minister Brown to determine on the best possible date of the true election by telling him how he would fare in the real thing. To ensure the pre-election elections validity, voters will have to 'promise' on ballot papers to vote for the party that they say they'll vote for in the true election, and ballot papers wil be pre-printed 'cross my heart or hope to die'
Illegal immigrants will be offered permanent citizenship as long as they 'don't vote for the Tories'.
The date for the pre-election election will be decided as soon as advisors believe that the wind is blowing in the right direction.
It is believed that the Prime Minister rejected advice to follow the American style of voting and will not be rounding up potential Conservative Supporters and holding them in pens until the ballots close.