Written by The Macster
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Friday, 5 October 2007

image for Middle Classes in Turmoil as House Prices Stabilise
The line will no longer be going in this direction

The land registry reported that annual house price growth was only 9.6% for the year to date, down from 9.9%. This would mean that only £19,200 would be added to the value of an average £200,000 home by December.

Many property owners are already starting to feel the pinch from higher interest rates and increased mortgage payments, with reports that the average number of skiing holidays taken each year has gone down from 3 to just 2 per family.

"The Government needs to do something," said Dexter Dingleberry, a 35 year old investment banker from Leatherhead. "I've mortgaged myself up to my bollocks to buy nice new beemers for the wife and I and they need to be changed next year. How am I supposed to go to the bank and take out more equity from my home if it's value has only risen 9%. I could get more money investing my maximum annual allowance in an ISA for ten years. I will be voting against Mr Brown if he doesn't put a stop to this nonsense right now,"

Mr Dingleberry, along with a number of other property owners, is considering a number of actions to try and halt the decline in house price rises, such as grumbling loudly at dinner parties about the state of the economy and writing a very strongly worded letter to the Sunday Times.

But it is not just the home owning public affected by the house price stabilisation. Estate Agents have also been hit and now have to sit in their offices doing nothing for approximately 25 minutes longer than this time last year in order to earn just £5000.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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