California - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): "You gotta be joking!" Hollywood PR sources said today amid reports that Prince William's erstwhille girlfriend Kate Middleton is about to post her own nude photographs on the net after being relegated to 'also ran' interest status following the Vanessa Hudgens nude pics sensation.
"We think Miss Middleton is a pretty, very thin young lady who has generated some headlines by process of osmosis as William's ex-squeeze," NudeGirlsAnonymous.com sources said today.
"But aged 25 she's already showing signs of wear and tear without so much as having bared a nipple in public.
"Frankly, this kind of non-exposure is bland and banal to say the least.
"Miss Hudgens, however, is one hot ass!
"And at eighteen years of age she looks like a sun-kist peach, and not like some over-ripened English avocado with a cigarette dangling out of her mouth.
"Sure, for a fee we'd take on Kate.
"A quick make-over would include a trip to a top Bel Air hairdressing salon, cosmetic dentistry, lip-filler, several botox sessions, colored contact lenses, all-over body tan and the usual Mons Veneris sculpting.
"Those bikini shots from the Seychelles this summer leave a lot to be desired.
"We'd recommend she pump up her breasts to at least 34DD and maybe go for nipple re-positioning as well because the droopy acord look is SO 1990s, don't you know?
"And finally some strategic, naked caught in flagrente shots with a couple of younger males wouldn't hurt at all either.
"Basically we see Kate as competing with the likes of Hayden Panettiere as well as Vanessa Hudgens in a very narrow band of female celebrity.
"If she really wants to get her man it's gonna take a whole lot more effort than wiggling her ass in Boujis twice a week while feigning that frigid English Rose stuff in public.
"Sure. We can take her on. Piece of cake.
"About $500,000 and ten days' work will just about do it."