River Thames, London - (ArmageddinOuttaHere Mess): The Royal and Ancient Hellfire Club of Great Britain has been thrust into turmoil today as the Egyptian death god Anubis appeared on a sailing barge up the River Thames just outside Traitor's Gate.
The sighting prompted even more hysteria than January's appearance of a hump-back whale which swam all the way up to the Palace of Westminster prompting premonitions of the death of a public figure 'just like in Shakespearian tragedies.'
Today's portentous arrival of the 25-foot jackal-headed Golden Anubis, ancient Egyptian God of the Dead, is seen as the final prophetic omen that Albion's days of slavery under the Puppet Monarch are in their death throes.
"Anubis has come to take his prey down into the Underworld Realm," Hellfire Club soothsayers predicted.
"By the time they erect him in Trafalgar Square it will all be over for Old Fatty Mountbatten."
Ancient Egyptians revered Anubis as the god of the dead who guided them in the after-life and judged their sins for all eternity.