Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Princess Diana

Saturday, 29 September 2007

image for Princess Diana's wedding gown 'spurting droplets of blood' ahead of inquest
A very enlarged detail from the bodice

London - (Ass Mess): The fairytale wedding gown worn by Princess Diana has suddenly begun spurting droplets of blood like an iconinc Madonna painting ahead of Tuesday's inquest into her fatal car crash of 1997.

The fabled dress, which is covered in more than 50,000 queen-mother-of-pearl sequins and features an eight carriage-long train, was discovered to be 'bleeding erratically' as Kensington Palace curators packed it away for the forthcoming Australian exhibition entitled Diana: A Hysterical Celebration

It was due to be displayed at Sydney's Hellfire Club Memorial Museum along with items of the late Princess's underwear.

But the inexplicable phenomenon of the spontaneous haemophilia-like seepage has made the Museum wary of going ahead with the show.

A total of 200 other items once belonging to Diana are now due for the chop.

These include treasured childhood possessions like her first colonic irrigation rubber douchebag, a self-help handbook from the Royal Self-Publicists' Association and myriad items associated with her 'personal style' that greedy wannabe-somebody butler Paul Burrell didn't get his thieving little mitts on.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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