London - (YouTosserGovPoll Mess): A poll to be published in this weekend's Tosser on Sunday tabloid says British voters are frightened of picking a man who looks the spitting image of British Union of Fascists leader Oswald Mosely.
"No amount of eco-warrior smarm is going to get over the fact that, even minus the moustache, David Cameron is a latter-day Blackshirts dead ringer," a YouTosserGovPoll source said ahead of tomorrow's publication.
"Some of his policies aren't that far-off from diehard fascism either."
Cameron's ratings have been on a downward spiral slide all year.
Tomorrow's poll attributes some of this to the Z-List Sloane Ranger celebs like Zac Goldsmith who have reinvented themselves as bona fide champions of the environment despite the UK Serious Fraud Squad's files telling quite a different story.
"It will all end in tears before bedtime," the poll source concluded as Conservative members began gathering at Blackpool for their annual angst-fest party conference.