London - (Ass Mess): Waxworks museum Madame Tussauds has said it has no plans now or in the future to cast an image of desperate royal wannabe Kate Middleton 'on aesthetic, humanitarian or conservation grounds'.
"Ambitious little minxes come and go," Tussauds curator Martin Beeswax said today, "and Kate Middleton is well past her sell-by.
"We had some sponsorship enquiries earlier this year to commission a Chelsy Davy mannequin," Beeswax continued, "but our current artistic licence department laughed off that one from the drawing board stage."
The statement comes following today's unveiling of a new Camilla waxwork gargoyle 'looking like a cross between Jilly Cooper and Jamie Lee Curtis' according to one art critic.
The Camilla statue was hastily arranged following extensive reports from Germany that the Duchess of Cornwall has willed her body to plastination aficionado Gunther von Hagens for permanent exhibition in a Bavarian museum.
"This is a legally-binding commitment going back to Princess Diana's wedding day in 1981," a source said today.