Buckingham Palace - (Armageddin'-On-A-Bit Mess): This year's Harvest Moon looks like the inevitable watershed for the Puppet Monarchy.
According to Hellfire Club sky-watchers congregating in Bournemouth's Last Chance Saloon Hotel this Wednesday's Aries full moon crosses strategic fault lines on Old Fatty Mountbatten's natal chart close to her emasculated descendant.
Many have interpreted this as a disaster for Labour Party grandees who masterminded a World War II deception that allowed her to take up a squatter's position on the Throne of Albion.
At three degrees Aries the Moon/Sun polarity fixes opposing cardinal signs in the lunation 'along the lines of a Shakespearian tragedy' according to one nervous omen interpretor scheduled to address the Party conference in Bournemouth later this week.
"If she croaks then we all go down!" a sick-as-a-parrot Northern Rock deposit-holder said today.
It is not known just how much dosh the Puppet Monarch had stashed in the disaster-hit Rock.
"It must have been well over five million for Prime Monster Gorgon Brown to order the lackeys at the Treasury to guarantee every last drop to stave off a major run on the bank last week," was all that insiders were able to hint today.