RAF personnel were accused of risking Cherie Blair's life by refusing to provide a helicopter to winch the mother of eight clear of the Somerset beach where she lies stranded.
Trainee burger flipper Mrs Blair had been cruising the coast off Weston Super Mare in a dinghy owed by Ray Allen and Lord Charles when her massive bulk split the f'ward poop deck.
Lord Charles was heard to shout: 'You silly ass' as he and Mr Allen swam to safety.
Mrs Blair was washed up on the shore and has remained beached ever since despite desperate attempts to push her back into the water.
Wing Commander Freddie Lancet said it had been decided not to provide a Chinook helicopter because Mrs Blair had been 'very, very rude' to the Queen.
He said 'It is the Royal air force after all. We have allegiance to the Queen. Ms Blair should have thought about the consequences when she refused to curtsey to Her Majesty - though I have to say it does appear now that if she had tried to she would never have been able to get back up.'
Wing Co Lancet denied he had said: 'I'm not getting my nice shiny helicopter all sandy for that stupid fat cow.'
It has been a difficult year for Mrs Blair who had hoped for a more favourable response from the RAF because they had been using her cast off tights as windsocks for several years.
In his autobiography 'I was a Crap Actor who Could Only get in one Show' her father Tony Booth revealed all the other children at Mrs Blair's school said she smelt and a teacher had asked of her: 'How can anyone be so ugly with just one head?'