Cardiff, Wales - (Sheep Shaggers Mess): The Welsh Sheep Farmers Union has issued a plea for calm today amid a suspected outbreak of Bluetongue virus.
This has been linked to unrequited amorous advances by trainee shepherds on government-sponsored work experience schemes, known locally as Ovine Blue Balls Syndrome,
"A number of our members are concerned that a recent Blue Balls outbreak may be part of this Bluetongue epidemic," Union spokesman Rhys Lambskin said today.
"Following an incident outside the Sheepshaggers' Arms in Swansea after closing time last night police and ambulance crews were called to separate a young man and a Carmarthen Hump-Back ram, after reports of erotic (- er.... erratic!) behaviour.
"Earlier in the evening the lad had seen drinking over twenty pints of Young's Ram Rod Ale.
"He then sighted in Prince of Wales Drive propositioning the Carmarthen Hump-Back.
"A fracas ensued and the youth looked to be in a great deal of pain, clutching his crotch and swearing profusely at the ram.
"Paramedics eventually identified a "cramp-like ache of prostatic congestion" as well as pain/tenderness of the testes with the classic South Wales ovine Blue Balls Syndrome, a condition often spread by the Bluetongue virus."
The Welsh Agriculture Ministry has now promised to fly-post rural agricultural sites warning of the inherent dangers of the situation.