The Prime Minister's office has announced that Gordon Brown has had his hair cut. The famous fringe that adorned the right part of his forehead has gone, revealing even more head than before.
Colleague and Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling said:
"Gordon has achieved a 7% increase in facial space through this cost-effective [hair] cut. We predict that by pruning away wasteful and environmentally unfriendly tufts of hair, the Prime Minister will be leaner and readier for a snap election, should he wish to call one."
Political opponents immediately denounced the cut. Opposition leader David Cameron said:
"Short-term publicity-seeking measures such as this demonstrate how shallow the Prime Minister's policies really are."
Liberal Democraft leader Sir Menzies Campbell said:
The haircut has increased speculation that Gordon Brown may be about to call a general election. A political observer commented:
"Labour is ahead in the polls and this new shorter and tidier hairstyle, which makes the Prime Minister look younger than before, may be calculated to woo women and gay men."
He added that history showed that whenever a new Prime Minister has his hair cut, there is a 40% chance of a General Election within the next 6 months.
However, Gordon Brown's hairdresser, in an attempt to stifle rumours, said:
"Gordon was just looking a little hairy so he popped in for a trim. I don't think you can read anything into it."