Intrepid Portuguese investigators reportedly believe The Queen holds the answer to the mysterious disappearance of British toddler Madeleine McCaan.
"We know about your Regina," said a Portuguese gumshoe, on condition of anonymity. "We know what she can remember at the last minute about a major case. She alone proved the butler didn't do it, so who knows what she can tell us about this matter?"
A tip directed police interest from Rothesay in the north, to Buckingham Palace in the heart of London and marks the latest dramatic, if typically implausible lurch in the ongoing effort to do everything but find the missing child.
Other sources hint that Portuguese police interest may be about much more than simply what the Queen may remember during a car ride.
Said the officer: "This woman is very suspicious to us. The entire British nation has wept over this matter, yet this woman has showed no emotion at all. We find this damning."
"Our new source tells us there is proven animosity in some quarters of the UK towards young blondes and that in these quarters, nothing is beyond them when they conspire on a course of action. We received this tip from a very helpful gentleman who offered us five-per cent off anytime we visit, should we convict the right aguida in the missing child case."