Eric Shortround from Leeds has been offered a recording contract by evil 'Music' fan Simon Cowell.
Mr Shortround, who has no musical training, and does not even like music, and to prove it rates the sounds of a pet shop above the Beach Boys 'Pet Sounds' is non-plussed at the offer that many people would sell their grandparents for.
Speaking to us yesterday he said: 'I really don't know what Mr Cowell was thinking in making me this offer. All I did was make a trouser with an 8 foot leg, so that he has room to grow into them, and they do up at the same height as his nipples. I mean that man has done some good in the world, and I thought he needed a regular supplier of high band trousers. I guess this recording contract is his way of repaying me. I know that I will be a laughing stock, but I know that Mr Cowell knows more about the Music industry than me'.
Simon Cowell introduced the concept of Robson and Jerome to the world. Be afraid. Be very afraid.