After months of investigation into alleged sightings of UFO's over Bournemouth, the British Occult Ley Line Organisation & Xylophonists headed by Dr. Roger Carp released its report today, entitled "The Bishop Bonkers Papers". B.O.L.L.O.X. 63 page report consists largely of interviews with active Bournemouth citizen and spunky prelate of the Olde Catholic sect, Bishop Bonkers, who claims he was targeted by the alien visitations.
In a series of startling revelations, the Bishop identifies Muswell Hill resident David Farrant as "the Satanic force behind the UFO menace". Farrant is an author of occult books and connected with tales of alleged vampire sightings in London during the 1970s. Bishop Bonkers testified at length as to Farrant's role in the UFO incident which terrorised local citizens, saying, "Farrant has it in for me, see? He uses crystal balls, frogs legs, and witches potions to conjure up the UFOs and make them appear over my cottage".
To combat the otherworldly assault, the Bishop has lined his outdoor loo with tinfoil. "The UFOs can't get past the tinfoil you see", claims the Bishop, adding, "Farrant can't outwit me, I'm too quick and too crafty".