Written by Mister Meaner
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Topics: Northern Rock

Friday, 14 September 2007

image for Northern Rock 'For Geordies Only' Says Executive
Northern Rock in freefall

The Northern Rock, the bank set up by a bunch of people from Newcastle eight years ago, has announced that it is going bust, in an off-the-wall publicity stunt.

The crazy Geordie bank has far too many customers who are not from the Northeast, according to one senior executive, and the problem has had to be addressed.

Shares in the bank immediately plummeted, and the Bank of England stepped in to do something or other, but nobody knows what. Investors are expected to lose millions of pounds, and several tonnes of coal.

Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair, Darling said:

"Northern Rock is a bank primarily for those gritty Geordie types who don't wear a shirt at the football. They are saying that far too many 'Southern softies' have invested with them, and they are keen to offload those people."

Northern Rock chief executive Gritty Geordie said:

"Why aye, man. Oor bank's fer us lads, Pet, don't ye know?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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