Written by CWMIV
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Topics: Scientists, panic

Saturday, 13 March 2004

image for Deadly New Breed Of Spiders Stow Away in Ship
One of the Pink Widows in captivity.

All over the United Kingdom, panic has been caused, as scientists have announced that fifty thousand deadly Pink Widows, a lethally poisonous new breed of spider, have stowed away on a cargo ship and are heading for the UK.

The new breed was being studied at Africa when the scientists realized they'd forgot to put the cat out back at their United Kingdom lab, so went off there, leaving the Widows to escape due to an open cage door.

The crew are not responding, and it has to be assumed that they are now dead, and the spiders are heading for the UK.

The spiders have rock solid armoured plate beneath their fur, and just a single millimetre of their poison can kill.

Cities and towns are being evacuated to France, far away from the spider threat, and the UK Branch of the Spider Lovers' Club are preparing a welcome party with cake, jelly, fizzy drinks and ice-cream for the spiders at Land's End, who are expected to arrive there in three weeks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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