Written by Mr Luigi
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Topics: Money, vacation

Friday, 12 March 2004

image for HOW 5 BRITONS WON A VACATION WITH NSA

Nowadays there are plenty of ways to win anything from a pencil sharpener to the latest hand held computer. Usually you have to make an investment, like money, time or privacy which you will most certainly loose. To be sure to win just play with NSA - Nature, Sightseeing & Adventure.

The good news is everything on their trip is included: Food, lodging close to water, high security standards, free clothing, writing utensils and no snow in winter! Now for the bad news, the investment - first of all you need to grow yourself a fairly long beard (sorry, most women won ´t qualify). After this is accomplished get a plane ticket to Pakistan. - I know, I know that ´s not cheap but remember, the return on your investment is guaranteed. Once inside Pakistan you ask for ´Bin Laden The Greatest Leader Ever´. From then on everything else is planned for. You will be picked up by armed guards and flown to a sunny island called Cuba. You will have the pleasure to stay at the Grand Hotel Delta Camp which is right by the Atlantic Ocean. The picturesquely situated Guantanamo Bay area with its nice restaurants and many local security companies will allow you to live your wildest holiday dreams without fear. Unfortunately you are not supposed to leave the secure interior of your hotel because of the deadly ´Castro Bugs´ who are said to roam the island at night and during the day. You are also supposed to wear orange clothes at all times. The Bugs are uneasy about things that arn ´t red.

Are you afraid that you will be bored? Don ´t worry! A diversified daily entertainment program will make sure that you have a blast. Physical training programs will teach you how to continuously stand on one spot for 24 hours and longer. Fun drugs are available for you to test. Question and answer games on your personal background are designed to amuse you throughout the day. If you can ´t think of an answer right away that ´s no problem. You are given the time to write it down later and these writing utensils are for free!

It has been reported that five British citizens enjoyed this for two years before finally returning home. Well - either that or the NSA is notoriously short on return flights.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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