Written by Noshing Mink
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Sunday, 9 September 2007

image for McCanns hire Prince Harry as bodyguard
Harry the Bodyguard - "Outta my way, plebs!"

Kate and Gerry McCann, the British couple whose daughter Madeleine disappeared wile on holiday in Portugal 4 months ago and who have now become official suspects in the investigation, along with a couple of thousand other people, have announced that they have hired Prince Harry as a bodyguard.

As the McCanns drove from their holiday villa in Portimaio to Faro Airport, a distance of several miles, they were followed by cars and motorcycles packed with hundreds of camera-wielding members of the Portuguese media. Whenever their car slowed down, cameramen ran up to their car and took more photographs.

A spokesman said "We are all appalled at the behaviour of the Portuguese media and the refusal of the police to provide a dignified and safe escort. That is why Kate and Gerry have decided to get a bodyguard who will return with them to Portugal if they are questioned by the police. The only person whose name strikes fear in the hearts of journalists is His Royal Highness Prince Harry."

Prince Harry has a reputation for fighting his way out of media scrums. He has been known to chase cameramen up the street and give them a well-deserved pasting. Last week, he came out of a night club in England, saw a mob of 1 journalist and demolished it with his fists and feet.

"This is the sort of nutter we need to protect Kate and Gerry", said one of their friends. "Whatsmore, because he's third in line to the throne, he's immune from arrest and can dish out a beating by royal prerogative."

We decided not to interview Prince Harry because Boots the Chemist was shut.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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