Written by Clement Paulson
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Topics: Max Clifford

Thursday, 11 March 2004

image for Max Clifford: An Apology
A celebrity today

Thespoof, together with other major national daily newspapers in the UK, apologises unreservedly to PR guru Max Clifford, together with all of his clients, for failing to produce coverage of any of his clients yesterday.

Following subsequent discussions with Mr Clifford, we fully agree that it is thought by leading media analysts that the complete absence of Clifford and his clients from yesterday's papers was a publicity master-stroke that had been planned for some time.

The second stage of the strategy will apparently be a series of outraged calls from Clifford to editors, complaining of victimisation and demanding that previous levels of coverage be restored.

"I cannot stand for hypocrisy in public life, and I will not stand for treatment that you would normally reserve for an ordinary person", he will apparently say.

"I would not, of course, dream of reminding your proprietor and his wife that, for every story that I break, I cover up a dozen more - if you will return to letting me write half your newspaper for you while you are in the pub. I am a hard man, but fair," he will legitimately continue.

We shall therefore be reporting his position in detail in tomorrow's edition, together with our retraction of comments that were accidentally not made about any of Clifford's clients in previous editions. If you want me, I'm on my mobile in the pub.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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