London - (Ass Mess): A thirty year cycle has come full circle this weekend since the zodiac's taskmaster planet, Saturn, transited Virgo and mobster cabals working for ex-CIA CEO George Herbert Bush tried to stage a military coup d'etat in London.
This was meant to put the corrupt old bastard son of Hitler's Pope Pius XII in charge of the country and installed his and mother - the actress planted by the Hellfire Club into the role of the Queen Mother after the 1940 Nazi air raid death of King George VI, his wife and eldest daughter - onto the Puppet Throne as Queen Regnant.
This weekend as another Hellfire Club actress - Old Fatty Mountbatten - travels back on the royal train to cockroach-infested Balmoral Castle, her sciatica medication is said to be troubling her deeply as palace doctors repeatedly warn that a brain seixure could be imminent.
And palace astrologers are rabid with fear that the start of the Virgoan Saturn cycle will commence with a heart attack, stroke or other fatal calamity which will fell the wily old Puppet Monarch who has squatted in the House of Windsor since the death of George VI's impersonator in 1952.
Luckily, Ministry of Defence vermin control officers have taken a broad pest-control view of the situation and decided a long time ago that when this Hitler daughter finally pops her clogs all the other royal impersonators will be rounded up like cockroaches and despatched to Tyburn Hill's gallows.
"And that includes Bill Clinton's and Anne Robinson's massive thieving fraudster daughjter JK Rowling," Whitehall sources added today as the final touches were being operationalised for a magnificent Labor Day round up of the Hellfire Club and all its cohorts.
Cherie Blair has haemhorroids.